☕ The Power of a Reading Ritual: Turning Struggle into Safety
Over the holidays, I read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, and one of the ideas that has stayed with me long after I closed the book is this:
If we want to improve at something, we don’t rely on motivation. We build a ritual around it.
And it got me thinking about reading, surprise, surprise! For many of the children and learners I work with, reading is not seen as something relaxing. It’s effortful, slow, and a chore. It reminds them of what feels hard. Think of it this way, if I told you to do 20 minutes of press-ups right now, you would definitely be finding any excuse not to do it, as they would be effortful, slow, and a chore.
So instead of asking, “How do we get them to read more?” or even start to read, maybe the better question is: “How do we make reading feel safe?”
When Reading Feels Like a Hill
Recently, I had several conversations with different parents about their children’s reading. The texts we were working on have been slightly challenging. Not impossible, but there have been moments where they have felt very effortful, especially after a summer of not reading much.
And here’s the truth: For struggling readers, effort can often feel like failure, especially when something is consistently feeling hard; the brain quite naturally avoids it. This is interestingly actually a survival mechanism that is hard-wired into us. Hard work consumes energy, and it also feels like danger, so it’s really important to understand that avoidance of hard things is not laziness; it’s actually our brain’s wiring for protection.
So if we want children to persist with reading when it feels hard, we have to lower the emotional barrier and create the feeling of safety - not just the reading level.
The Idea: A Reading Ritual
In Atomic Habits, James Clear explains that habits stick when they are:
Obvious
Attractive
Easy
Satisfying
When we think carefully about reading, for a struggling reader, or a learner reader, reading often misses the “attractive”, “easy,” and “satisfying” parts,
So here is my thinking: what if we wrapped reading inside something warm, safe, and focused on putting the survival side of our brains to the background?
Imagine this:
A snuggly blanket on the couch
A hot chocolate or special tea made together
A lamp turned on just for reading
The same spot, the same time
From this, reading becomes connected to comfort, predictability, and safety. When we feel safe, we feel less stressed, when we feel less stressed, our cognitive load reduces, and we can enter into a state where hopefully success triggers the release of dopamine. Long-term, our brains can be trained to embrace the challenge.
Why This Works (Especially for Dyslexic Learners)
Many of the learners I work with are carrying years of “I’m not good at this.” Let’s look at it this way: When reading is paired only with correction, pressure, or comparison, the nervous system stays on alert, and high alert can trigger those feelings of fear and overwhelm.
But when reading is paired with:
Warmth
Shared connection
A calming sensory cue
A short, manageable time frame
…the brain begins to associate reading with safety instead of stress. And safety in that beautiful green zone is where learning grows.
Keep It Short. Keep It Consistent.
A ritual does not need to be long; in fact, shorter is better. Aim for five to ten minutes, or even just the length of sipping a drink.
You might:
Read one page each, taking turns
Have you read first
Do echo or choral reading
Or just sit side by side
Remember, the goal is not perfection; the goal is all about showing up, because it’s when we get consistent that we can support our learners to build and feel confidence, then that confidence can, in turn, build identity. Identity, that “I am a reader”.
We’re Not Just Building Skill. We’re Building Identity.
In Atomic Habits, there is a powerful idea:
Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become.
If a child reads for five minutes each evening, they start collecting votes. Not for “top reader.” But instead, “I’m someone who reads.” That identity shift is far more powerful than any sticker chart.
A Gentle Invitation for Families
If reading has been tense in your home, you don’t need a new phonics programme tonight.
You might just need a ritual. Start with something small, warm and predictable. You know your child best and know what can work. It will still take practice, but we can climb that hill. Just remember, we don’t need to do it in the cold; sometimes a blanket and a hot chocolate are the first step.
